Family Matters

LEO IN THE 4TH HOUSE
Leo, the classic sign of drama and creativity, is nestled in the 4th House, the house of home and the mother. It's very likely that we're going to see some interesting happenings from our home lives and especially from the matriarchs. This is also a perfect time to reconnect with parents and/or children. Perhaps there will be some spats, but in the end, the bond between family members is stronger than the insanity caused.


Family is a tumultuous topic and defined in many different ways. There is a unique breed of insanity that's deeply integrated with the familial unit. No one can drive you crazy better than the people who you grew up with. They know your ins and outs. They know what buttons to push, what phrases to use, and can predict outcomes based on mood swings. These are also the people who are there for you when you need comfort, support, or a laugh. They're not necessarily parents or siblings, aunts or uncles, grandparents or cousins, although they may include these roles.

Some define family by blood. "Blood is thicker than water." Quite the scientific assessment. Others by bond. "Friends are the family you choose." I think it's very much the bond. After all, the word family has the same root as familiar, and after all, shouldn't your family be the people who are familiar with you? That's why some people refer to close friends of the family as "Aunt" or "Uncle." Also why we say that some people are more than friends; they're family. We surround ourselves with family, whether we realize it or not.

Introducing a new person into the family can be a trying and nerve-wracking situation for all involved. The irony, of course, is that everyone wants it to work out. Everyone hopes that the group gets along with the new person, especially if there is romantic interest from a member of the group. There are so many questions of when and where and how to introduce the new member and if it should be done with everyone present or just on an individual basis. I think it depends on the family. Some people are better off meeting everyone at once and just ripping the band-aid off. Others prefer to wade in the shallow end before diving in. It's all about the dynamic and the member of the family who is doing the introducing should make the best call with that as they know both parties well. Basically, what everyone's hoping is that the new person's style of crazy gels with their own. That's really what it boils down to.

There's going to be drama no matter what. You just have to find the group that accepts your drama and has drama that you can handle. We put up with a lot for our families, but in the end, they're worth it. Look around you. Who's your family?

What A Difference A Year Makes!

SATURN IN LIBRA
Saturn, the time-keeping planet, is spending quality retrograde time in Libra, the planet of harmony and balance. This planet has a lot to do with maturity and lessons learned and in a social sign like Libra, one might see some growth with regard to relationships.

This is a perfect time to discuss the impact of time on the individual. I recently began a new job working with students at a high school level and I am constantly amazed by the differences between the students with regard to year. The freshman are much more immature than the sophomores who are less mature than the juniors who are, in turn (you guessed it, less mature than the seniors. Some people look at these groups and say, "Yes, well, it's the age." Well, naturally, it's the age, but to see how these things develop in packs, one must take a look at nurture (in this case, social aspects) versus the nature at work.

Children seem to learn things in groups. Of course they do; our society is built around this foundation. People do this as well, but it's not quite as formalized as when we are in school. There are milestones that we accomplish and it seems that the only instinctive knowledge handed to us is to learn from our own observations (especially of those around us). Sometimes, you get lucky and information is handed to you by a parent, a teacher, or (as is most common) a peer. For the most part, you learn the same things around the same time as your friends. After all, you're around the same age and usually you have the same interests, so it does seem fairly natural.

But what about maturity?

Are we learning to be more mature individuals by observing those around us? Is it something that people actually tell us? Or is it something subliminal; a signal that we pick up on when we develop the receptors for them? Young boys will often tease or hit girls they like. When they reach a certain age, they suddenly show their affections in other ways, although they're often just as clumsy at it. Sometimes, it's actually worded for us: "Stop being such a child!" Usually, this comes from an authority figure. Still, most people as teenagers are striving for the approval of their peers. They want to be socially accepted, so I can only infer that we pick up socially mature cues from our friends. Which means that SOMEONE in the group has to make the move first. Are they looking towards the people above them in the age bracket? Does it come from experience?

I remember coming home from my first year of college and heading back to my high school to say hi to friends and teachers (yes, I am that dork who was friends with teachers). I remember seeing the high school seniors and thinking, "Wow. They are so clueless and childish. They have no idea what's in for them." Did I gain this insight from my experience? From observing the other freshman at college? Where did I develop it? And looking back now, I can't even imagine the mindset that I had at 18 as I do now ten years later. The boy who lived then seems like an entirely different person. As does the same boy at age 8.

I am aware that there are a number of contributing factors to the development of the human being. As this is my first year at this school, I look forward to seeing how the current freshmen blossom into the mature seniors that I know they will be. I wonder what they will think when they look back and reflect on their freshman year in high school. Then again, one might say I'm in my freshman year as an educator. I wonder what I'll think four years from now. At least I have the comfort of knowing that I can't be called a senior for another 30-something years.

Snowed In

SUN IN AQUARIUS
The Sun, planet of warmth and vitality, is transiting the sign of Aquarius, the sign of hopes and fears. It's a time of originality and eccentricity, just as hopes are often found to be. Time to explore your specific ideas and let them roam free.

In speaking of hopes and fears, snow comes to mind. Now, I realize that when most people consider hopes and fears, they don't exactly think of weather, but the recent snow warning set my mind upon this subject. It made me realize how beholden upon weather we are. Granted, since time immemorial, we have dealt with the powers of the heavens, but in a modern age, one might consider that we would have different methods for dealing with everything nature can throw at us.

I personally received a text message this morning letting me know that I would not have to work today because of the incipient storm. I'm rarely going to get upset that I don't have to work, but there was no snow! The snow that had people in terror preparing to be holed up in their houses ended up deciding to skip our area, leaving us feeling somewhat sheepish. However, other places have been inundated with snow, justifying their own preparations.

Nowadays, I have to say that I cannot abide snow. Yes, it's beautiful when it's falling and blanketing the city with its quiet power, but goodness, once its fallen and dirtied the streets, it becomes obnoxious. I can't stand the slush, the grey/black snow littering the sidewalks, sloshing through the subway floors, and falling from building awnings, not to mention the shoveling. It's tremendously inconvenient.

This is so different from when I was a kid. We couldn't wait for snow and often hoped it would snow enough to keep us out of school. I remember waking up early just to listen to the radio and find out if I had to go to school. It was like a present when I heard my school's number called. Then I dressed in my warmest clothing and went out to play. Nowadays, you couldn't pay me to go out into the snow. Perhaps I'll feel differently once I have children of my own and watch their glowing expressions as they watch the snowflakes drift down, but for now, snow my stay in the sky for all I care.

I hope those who were hit wth snow are safe and sound and enjoying the aesthetic power and those who are safe from snow are enjoying the convenience of getting around.

Making Travelers Annoyed

SUN IN 9TH HOUSE
The sun, planet of warmth and vitality, is drifting through the 9th House, the House of Exploration and Travel. Now may be a great time to find new places to venture. Folks may be taking more vacations or trying something new in their lives.

Speaking of new and travel, I've seen some fairly odd behavior on the transit system lately. Is there no transetiquette anymore? First of all, I don't understand how people A: shove straight through others when coming on the train and don't let people off, and B: don't move to the middle of the train so that people coming on the train have room to stand. It's amazing to me that people do not make room for others.

Then there are the people who listen to music on the train at volumes that can be heard at the other end of the train. Thank you for being so into your music that you want to share it with the rest of the world, but seriously, I have my own space and prefer to keep it that way. Plus, don't you know that you're destroying your hearing? Might as well start learning sign language now. You'll need it later.

Still, I can forgive all this in light of the event I witnessed the other night. It was a late night after work and I waited for awhile for the 4, 5, 6. I would have preferred to take the 4 or 5, but with infallible fallibility, the MTA let me down again and delivered the 6 after an annoyingly long wait. The upside was that I had a seat. A man was sitting in a smaller seat near the door. As I watched with incredulity, he slid open the door between cars, pulled out a cigarette, and proceeded to light up. He smoked from 125th street to 68th street. Just to be sure I wasn't crazy, I glanced up at the wall where the NO SMOKING sign rested, oblivious of the irony.

Anyone else see this kind of thing? It makes me want to drive...

...almost.

Detailing

MERCURY GOES DIRECT

Mercury, planet of communication, has just returned direct on its course as of yesterday, and today, drifts through Virgo, the sign of meticulousness and detail, as well as service. This implies a refocusing on the details of one's life and the possibility of "fall cleaning" as people attempt to get their lives back in order after the Merucry-in-retrograde period. As Virgo likes to say, a place for everything and everything in its place.

Revamping one's life to return to order is more easily said that done. There are so many aspects of life to keep straight and this writer, for one, is feeling a little overwhelmed. Whether you are dealing with school, work, projects, partners, friends, enemies or just quotidian minutiae, one might hope that the Mercury in Virgo will be there to support and benefit you. As they say, "Life is in the details," but then they also say, "You can't see the forest for the trees," and who are they anyway?!

Details become a huge part of human life. You never hear a cat saying, "I'm sorry; can you run that by me again? I missed the part where you feed me and I eat. What exactly do I do first?" True, details are a natural part of life. One only has to look at the intricacies in a spider web or the patterns of dots on a lily to see that detail is what helps create beauty. Yet being bogged down in detail is certainly a human construct, is it not? We try to keep things simple, but eventually, all of the little parts begin to speak and soon, it is a cacophony of clamoring slices of the whole. After all, that is where the word "detail" comes from: detailler, meaning to cut up into pieces.

This is not to say that those pieces are not important. Far from it. After all, a word is comprised of letters - at least in the romantic and germanic traditions. These letters are associated with sounds and the sounds are then put together to create blended sounds, which we then associate with meaning, thus creating a word. Words are then put together to create sentences and sentences to create stories, or blogs just like this one. So without the details, the story in question could not exist. And then you come back and say, "Well, a picture is worth a thousand words." Of course. Let's examine the millions of brush strokes or pencil marks, etc, that make up that picture. Or if it's a mental picture, then the millions of details that you might notice in creating that picture - the colors, the movement, the textures, the expressions - and that's just the visual sense. Everything here is comprised of detail, including a blog about detail.

Then, of course, teachers ask you, "What's the gist of the story?" Well, now, although the detail is vital, that's not what the teacher is after. In fact, most people don't want to hear the innumerable details when a story is being told. It rarely matters whether the incident happened on a Tuesday, at 2:56pm, outside on a day of 83 degrees...no. Many people would get fed up with such a story. Vital in a police report; boring in a tale. Therefore, they want the gist, the overall action. What happened? One has to eschew the many details to pick out the important themes. The whole truly is greater than the sum of its parts. It's working through those parts to find the whole that makes it difficult, but once the whole is found, the parts don't seem to matter much anymore.

So go ahead and sweat the small stuff. Just don't let them take over.

Getting Reacquainted

SUN IN LIBRA
The sun has just entered the seventh sign of the zodiac, Libra, sign of balance, harmony, and relationships. Libra is currently sitting in the 7th House, the House of Partnerships. We should see a deliberate shift of focus from the quotidian minutae of Virgo to the more social, outgoing nature of our connection-centric selves.

It has been nigh a month since I last wrote and apologize for that. Things have been quite busy, not the least because of Mercury's decision to travel retrograde. Still, Libra brings relationships and balance to the forefront, so I return to connect with my readers.

A focus on relationships doesn't necessarily mean romance. And with Mercury in retrograde, there's high possibility for miscommunication and misunderstandings. Still, in examining our relationships, it's important to take a look at what benefits each of us in our connections with others, be they friends, family, or even foe. Yes, believe it or not, you have a strong relationships with your enemies too; consider the emotion involved. It's the acquaintances you have to examine in depth, since they are the ones you don't have such a deep emotional involvement with!

Sun-in-Libra is an special time for me because my natal sun is in Libra, meaning my birthday is coming up. Yes, I am a Libra; I admit it! I am charming, shallow, vain, and relationship conscious. We just can't help it. One of the hardest things for most Libras to deal with (besides making a decision) is handling the anger or depression of others with regard to them. Libras are a balance-oriented breed and the thought that someone could be upset with us is highly disturbing. We don't like to fight or argue and unless there's a strong water or earth streak in the chart, we don't hold grudges very well. The only time a Libra will come out swinging is if there is a question of fairness. We are sticklers for fair treatment - it comes from being able to see both sides of the story, which is a curse and a blessing.

Recent events have brought to my awareness the way that different people deal with issues of injustice, unfairness, and hurt. I have many friends who are able to close a door. Some of them slam it shut. Do not get on their bad side for you will never recover from it. They encourage others to do the same, seeing former friends who have hurt them as a cancerous element of society that they prefer to cut out. With the power of "defriending" someone on Facebook, there's an added way to make the point.

Others are more willing to forgive. My parents taught me that in every relationship, you start out with 100% trust. Once that trust is broken, you go down to 0% and you have to work your way back up. I've adopted this theory because I like to believe that people are basically good. They have their faults, of course. Everyone has their baggage. It's whether we can handle the baggage that matters. I want to be a forgiving person who understands that people make mistakes, but there comes a point where you have to recognize that no matter how much you may understand their side of the story, you still ended up hurt. Self-preservation has to play a part at some point, doesn't it?

One of my friends subscribes to the adage, "Forgive, but don't forget." This is becoming increasingly sensible as I watch the events around me. I'm studying to be an educator, after all. Understand that people make mistakes. Know that they will. Expect it. Students are encouraged to try and not be afraid of failure. Intention should count for something, even though the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Still, if something is not meant to be malicious, I can usually understand it. Even so, learn from it. Don't forget. Forgetting dooms the victim to repetition. Learn and be guarded next time. Go into things with eyes open. "Forgive, but don't forget," seems to embody the balance required by a Libran Sun. We must remember that people are not always out to get us, that they might see things in a different way and it can be misconstrued, that they are acting on their behalf - then so must we. Learn from the situation, and move forward.

The sun continues to shine and there are more relationships to be explored.

Happy Equinox!

Child Care

MARS IN CANCER
The combination of the most passionate planet, Mars, in the nurturing sign of Cancer is going to show an increase in mothering instincts and critical natures. This may seem like a contradiction, but looking to our own mothers, they were probably the most nurturing and critical influences in our lives. Keep in mind that people are looking out for your best interest and not intending to shoot you down.

I've noticed an odd trend through my nights at work. As I work until midnight or 1am, I end up taking the bus across town, no easy feat when the bus tends to take forever just to arrive. That being said, while I stand there awaiting the bus, I notice an unbelievable amount of children, especially ages six and younger. They're on the street and on the bus. Okay, they're not random children wandering the streets of New York; this is hardly a production of Oliver! or anything. They're usually accompanied by an adult, but still, what in the world are children doing out in New York until 1am? I'm watching them fall asleep on the bus. They have to be carried off the bus and taken home.

There was even an incident at my place of work where, during a performance, the sister-in-law of one of the performers showed up with a gaggle of children. While he was onstage, she dropped them off, said they were his responsibility and left. We had a number of young children with nowhere to go and no one to look after them. Who does that?

Honestly, do we care about our children anymore? As my mother always said, "You didn't come with an instruction manual." Still, aren't there certain ideas that just seem like common sense? I realize that there are extenuating circumstances that might require one to bend things for children every so often, but they shouldn't be the norm.

I believe the children are our future. Teach them well, but don't let them lead the way because if they have their way, they'll stay up late!