"We Need To Talk"

SATURN IN THE 8TH HOUSE
The strict and no-nonsense planet, Saturn, is drifting across the House of Regeneration and Change at the moment. It may be that we're going to see former boundaries shifted to make room for new endeavors. Or perhaps something that was once permissible is no longer within the realm of proper behavior. It's time to assess your own boundaries and limits and where you stand with others. Perhaps there's a conversation coming up with those close to you to redefine the parameters of the relationship.

Speaking of such conversations, I've come to the conclusion that there is no more frightening opening to a conversation than four little words: "We need to talk." Or some variation thereof. Be it from a lover, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a teacher...those four words can set your heart racing. Your brain immediately begins conjuring up all possible topics of conversation and they're rarely positive ones, right? Why might this person be upset with me? What have I done recently to anger someone? Is there someone else involved? Where will this lead? Is this going to change the whole relationship? Is it going to be awkward after this? And so on. The mind just trips over the multitude of potential sources for this pending discussion.

The worst, of course, is when it's soemthing postponed. You're lucky if you get the, "We need to talk" immediately followed by the dreaded discussion. There's less time to panic. More often than not, though, there's a wait period. The words are said, and of course, you respond with something like, "Um, okay. Let's talk." To which, they respond, "No, not right now. We'll talk later." This further compounds the disaster initiated by the "We have to talk." Now, your brain has plenty of time to review scenarios. You've started to develop possible topics and the manner of conversation that will cover those topics. You're planning your responses in advance. You're ready.

And usually, it's nothing serious. After all, this person is in your life for a reason, right? They want you to succeed. They're supporting you. So, usually, it's nothing more than a, "Hey, is it okay if a friend stays at our place on Friday night?" or possibly a, "You didn't take out the trash." Something completely innocuous that would have never been cause for alarm if not set up with the introduction of doom.

I can only suggest that people use this phrase sparingly and with sensitivity. One can hope that as Saturn imposes its restricting influence on the House of Change, and boundaries shift, that most discussions do not begin with "We need to talk."

Family Matters

LEO IN THE 4TH HOUSE
Leo, the classic sign of drama and creativity, is nestled in the 4th House, the house of home and the mother. It's very likely that we're going to see some interesting happenings from our home lives and especially from the matriarchs. This is also a perfect time to reconnect with parents and/or children. Perhaps there will be some spats, but in the end, the bond between family members is stronger than the insanity caused.


Family is a tumultuous topic and defined in many different ways. There is a unique breed of insanity that's deeply integrated with the familial unit. No one can drive you crazy better than the people who you grew up with. They know your ins and outs. They know what buttons to push, what phrases to use, and can predict outcomes based on mood swings. These are also the people who are there for you when you need comfort, support, or a laugh. They're not necessarily parents or siblings, aunts or uncles, grandparents or cousins, although they may include these roles.

Some define family by blood. "Blood is thicker than water." Quite the scientific assessment. Others by bond. "Friends are the family you choose." I think it's very much the bond. After all, the word family has the same root as familiar, and after all, shouldn't your family be the people who are familiar with you? That's why some people refer to close friends of the family as "Aunt" or "Uncle." Also why we say that some people are more than friends; they're family. We surround ourselves with family, whether we realize it or not.

Introducing a new person into the family can be a trying and nerve-wracking situation for all involved. The irony, of course, is that everyone wants it to work out. Everyone hopes that the group gets along with the new person, especially if there is romantic interest from a member of the group. There are so many questions of when and where and how to introduce the new member and if it should be done with everyone present or just on an individual basis. I think it depends on the family. Some people are better off meeting everyone at once and just ripping the band-aid off. Others prefer to wade in the shallow end before diving in. It's all about the dynamic and the member of the family who is doing the introducing should make the best call with that as they know both parties well. Basically, what everyone's hoping is that the new person's style of crazy gels with their own. That's really what it boils down to.

There's going to be drama no matter what. You just have to find the group that accepts your drama and has drama that you can handle. We put up with a lot for our families, but in the end, they're worth it. Look around you. Who's your family?