Family Matters

LEO IN THE 4TH HOUSE
Leo, the classic sign of drama and creativity, is nestled in the 4th House, the house of home and the mother. It's very likely that we're going to see some interesting happenings from our home lives and especially from the matriarchs. This is also a perfect time to reconnect with parents and/or children. Perhaps there will be some spats, but in the end, the bond between family members is stronger than the insanity caused.


Family is a tumultuous topic and defined in many different ways. There is a unique breed of insanity that's deeply integrated with the familial unit. No one can drive you crazy better than the people who you grew up with. They know your ins and outs. They know what buttons to push, what phrases to use, and can predict outcomes based on mood swings. These are also the people who are there for you when you need comfort, support, or a laugh. They're not necessarily parents or siblings, aunts or uncles, grandparents or cousins, although they may include these roles.

Some define family by blood. "Blood is thicker than water." Quite the scientific assessment. Others by bond. "Friends are the family you choose." I think it's very much the bond. After all, the word family has the same root as familiar, and after all, shouldn't your family be the people who are familiar with you? That's why some people refer to close friends of the family as "Aunt" or "Uncle." Also why we say that some people are more than friends; they're family. We surround ourselves with family, whether we realize it or not.

Introducing a new person into the family can be a trying and nerve-wracking situation for all involved. The irony, of course, is that everyone wants it to work out. Everyone hopes that the group gets along with the new person, especially if there is romantic interest from a member of the group. There are so many questions of when and where and how to introduce the new member and if it should be done with everyone present or just on an individual basis. I think it depends on the family. Some people are better off meeting everyone at once and just ripping the band-aid off. Others prefer to wade in the shallow end before diving in. It's all about the dynamic and the member of the family who is doing the introducing should make the best call with that as they know both parties well. Basically, what everyone's hoping is that the new person's style of crazy gels with their own. That's really what it boils down to.

There's going to be drama no matter what. You just have to find the group that accepts your drama and has drama that you can handle. We put up with a lot for our families, but in the end, they're worth it. Look around you. Who's your family?

Wedded Bliss

SUN IN LEO
The basic planet of warmth is in its ruled sign, Leo, the sign of drama and creativity. This is when the bombasticism of life comes out in spades and people show their more domineering and aggressive sides. This is also when we see the more entertaining elements of life come to the forefront. Additionally, the sun is in the 7th House, the house of partnerships. Creativity and dramatics abound in our relationships such that we might see flare ups and passionate resolutions.

This past weekend, I attended my third wedding of this year. (There are seven in total. Hmmm, seven weddings, 7th house is the house of partnerships...and 2009=2 numerologically. Gotta love synchronicity.) This wedding was slightly different from the others. Well, all weddings are different, of course, but this had an added element of being my first lesbian wedding. Not only that, but an interfaith wedding on top of that - Jewish/Christian. Strangely enough, that seems to be a theme this year. Third wedding, and all three so far have been Jewish/Christian weddings. However, where the first two were Jewish/Italian, this one was Jewish/German.

It was a beautiful ceremony and very much tailored to the interests of the brides. It took place in a synagogue (somewhere I haven't been in forever), under a homemade chuppah. The chuppah was created through the efforts of friends. Each guest was given a square of fabric to design in any way that they saw fit (within reason, of course) and they were sewn together to create the chuppah. The music was chosen by the brides and it was untraditional and very poignant. I don't think I've cried so much at a ceremony in my life. (Yeah, I'm sensitive.) They kept my favorite Jewish tradition: the breaking of the glass at the end. My favorite explanation of this tradition is that love will last as long as it takes to put the myriad of pieces back together.

There was another cup used in the ceremony: the German wedding cup. Here is the tale as written in the program:

Legend says a young noblewoman fell in love with a goldsmith. Her father, who did not approve of the marriage, made the following proposal: "If your goldsmith can make a chalice from which two people can drink at the same time without spilling one single drop, you may marry him." Inspired by love and with skillful hands, the young goldsmith created a masterpiece which owon his beloved's hand in marriage.

The German wedding cup that the brides used was also used for the wedding of the brother of one bride. It was a lovely tradition that connected the family to the ceremony. While the brides were the focus of the wedding, of course, they made sure their friends and family shared a large part of the day. We all felt included in this public declaration of love. It was unique and powerful and I am happy to have been a part of it.

More weddings to come.

Beyond Schadenfreude

FIERY SUN AND MOON
The sun has been in Leo for over a week now and the moon is currently in Sagittarius. Both are fire signs, and therefore very passionate, and Leo is a very dramatic sign, while Sagittarius is the sign of exploration. Our outer nature will be drawn to drama and bombastic adventures, while our inner self longs to travel.

Speaking of travel, I am coming to you from the road. That's right, folks, I'm in transit from New York to Philadelphia, and thanks to yet another element, water, what should have been a two hour jaunt has turned into a five hour excursion. Still, I can't blame it all on the rain. There is a fabulously obnoxious practice that will never fail to create traffic even under the best of weather conditions.

As we crawled under the dark, pendulous clouds with gray rain sheeting around us, I suddenly saw the light. No, I had no epiphany; it was the familiar blue and red lights of a squad car. Aha! There was an accident. Being on the other side of the bus, I could not see what unfortunate event had occurred, but I did note that no sooner had we passed by that our speed began to increase and traffic seemed to disperse.

What could have possibly caused this phenomenon? There is a term that is an apt description of the situation: rubbernecking. The act of twisting one's head in order to observe and event more easily. However, when driving, that act can be very dangerous; ergo, most people will slow down in order to perform this irritating action.

What is this fascination we have with accidents? We describe other things, such as someone's outfit, this way. "It was like a train wreck. I couldn't look away." The human race is infinitely fascinated with seeing people fail. It's incredible to me. Specifically with roadside trauma, unless you are a police officer, an EMT, or some other service member who is able to assist, keep moving! Besides, if it's a big enough issue, it'll be on the news later.

Which brings up another point: why must the news be inundated with accidents, deaths, rapes, shootings, killing, murder, etc? It's so rare to hear about a good thing. The television has been referred to as the "idiot box." Why? Because it enables escape. It's supposed to free our minds; hence it being mind-less. The news does just the opposite; it smacks us in the face with reality, forcing us to acknowledge such horrible aspects of our world with wild abandon that it's overwhelming at times. I am amazed by people who can sit and watch the news all day. I go to my television to escape reality.

Reality TV shows are no better. While they don't quite provide us with "reality" as they claim, it's certainly enough of it to make me cringe. Shows like American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance are great shows in their own right, I suppose, especially when (and if) you get to the point where everyone is incredibly talented. However, they televise the auditions and I have many friends who are uninterested in the show once the auditions are over. They love to watch people get shot down. That is not fun for me at all. People who have dreams of performing get crushed on those shows. And folks argue, "But it's good for them. Someone has to tell them that they suck." Fine, go ahead. I don't want to watch someone's dreams destroyed. I'd rather watch the last episode when someone's dreams come true.

This is beyond schadenfreude ("happiness at the misfortune of others"). I admit that, when watching a movie, I want to see the bad guy get what's coming to him, but it's not exciting to me to see the the average human being harmed for the entertainment of others. And roadside accidents are certainly not for the entertainment of others, but people certainly seem to view it that way. If you're one of those people who has to watch to see what happened, fine, but pull over! Otherwise, drive on!

The drama of misfortune has its appeal, but I prefer to attend such an event when it's planned and brilliantly written, rather than accidental or shallow. Perhaps the sun in Leo will not let us get away with banal tragedy. Yet, Leo's sun is playful as well and as I finish this blog, I can see it winking at me from behind the clouds.

Here comes the sun.