Death Watch

SUN IN THE EIGHTH HOUSE
Change is inevitable. With the sun in the 8th House, the house of regeneration. Scorpio, the sign of death and natural ruler of the 8th House is on the horizon. That combination shows this to be a time of change, when one chapter ends and another begins. A new plot line opens.

Apparently, I'm a death junkie. I spent yesterday watching the entire first season of True Blood while unpacking. The writing is highly clever and the writers clearly know their vampire lore. And not just the traditional mythos associated with vampires (garlic, holy water, crucifixes, etc), they are out to reference almost anything, including Buffy, Blade, and Anne Rice. Every time someone introduces a new vampire world, they have their own twist on the traditional knowledge. Anne Rice did it with Interview With A Vampire, Joss Whedon did it with Buffy, and now, Charlaine Harris has done with the books that are the base for this new television series.

Still, there's quite another element to this series. True Blood is not ashamed to emphasize the vamp in vampire, nor the suck in bloodsucking. Of course, there's a natural eroticism to the vampire world - always has been. This series puts it right out there in your face. In this series, you can literally flirt with disaster, and many people do. It's part of the subculture.

Still, flirting with disaster seems to be my whole fascination as far as television is concerned. Taking note of my media interests, the list includes dead and undead in various forms: Buffy, Angel, Six Feet Under, Dead Like Me, Dexter, and now, True Blood. Not that every show I watch has an element of death to it. After all, Ugly Betty is bright and campy. Still there is a fascination with the trappings of death, including that which happens after death and the possibilities of undead life.

There is fear involved. It's terrifying to think that our slice of life is so minuscule when compared with the expansive timeline we've created to make sense of the world. Perhaps that's why we take comfort in the idea of immortality. However, considering immortality as a realistic concept, it is highly probably that living forever, even an undead life, would be fantastically boring. Still, it's wonderful to think of furthering life, regardless of the darker stage in which such a drama might play out.

The vampire is a fabulous creature associated with death and sex. In fact, one might consider it a Scorpio's dream creature. It is powerful, intense, erotic, and dangerous. There's something fascinating about such creatures and we're drawn to them with, dare I say it, unholy attraction. Death is terrifying and intense and powerful in its unknowability and I have no doubt that there will be many more media forays into its uncharted lands.

I say bring it on.

MOM

MOON TRINE VENUS
According to one of my favorite sites, www.alabe.com, the Moon Trine Venus suggests that "[i]nteractions with others, especially females, feel natural and balanced now. It's a time of warm feelings and affections, cooperation, and emotional comforts. Public events are positive." Could there be a more positive aspect for Mother's Day?

Okay, okay, I know everyone's going to blog about Mother's Day today and talk about how cool their mom is. My mom actually is cool (and I'm not saying that just because she follows my blog). Using the energy of the moon (a very feminine planet) in Sagittarius (travel), my mom made her way to to NYC to visit and see me perform in a cabaret (public events are positive). While waiting for the show to begin, she made friends with two gentlemen, who pronounced her "fierce" (see? there's proof that she's cool).

Mom had me when she was only 21, so there's only a double decade between us, which is not the widest expanse, especially when you work in the theatrical world. You develop friendships with people of all age groups, so it's only natural that Mom and I are good friends as well as parent and child. Don't worry; we haven't quite crossed the line to Gilmore Girls-land, but we're buds. Both of us are artistic, sensitive types, who have a slightly "out-there" view on the world, especially when compared with my more practical sister and father.

Having her attend the show was a honored treat, as she doesn't get to see me perform very often; admittedly, schedule and my lack of auditioning don't provide many opportunities. The fun part is that I'm betting a few of my creative genes come from her. She is an artist, a performer, and a teacher, and I seem to follow in those footsteps. Both of my parents have encouraged me to be myself and shown enormous support through my many projects and milestones in life.

However, in a treasured reversal of role, I had the opportunity to witness one of her greatest milestones: graduation from college. Having never matriculated, my mother took it upon herself to return to school at a slightly older age than most of the student body, determined to earn her Bachelor's degree. Last winter, I had the privilege of watching my mother parade down the aisle in full cap and gown to receive her degree in education. It was easily one of the proudest moments of my life, knowing the innumerable obstacles she overcame to get to that place. There are few moments in my life that are comparable to that one. Now, as a teacher, she watches over others the way she watched over me.

I could go on extolling her virtues and accomplishments, but I think you get the idea. My mom's pretty awesome. Forgive the somewhat sappy mentality, but of course, I'm still coming off of a moon-in-Scorpio, so it's only natural.

I hope that everyone who is out there reading this has a chance to thank a mother figure in their life whether she hears you or not. It's still good to feel the gratitude, knowing that someone's there for you. Who knows? Someday, you might get the opportunity to be a mother too.

This blog is for you, Mom. Stay fierce.

Memories...

SUN/MOON OPPOSITION
When the full moon rises, it rises in the sign opposite of the residence of the sun. In this case, the sun is in Taurus while the moon is in Scorpio. This opposition shows odd contrast between the two influences. The focus on money and possessions with intense emotionality. The sun, a traditionally masculine association, sitting in the 10th House, the house of ambition and career. The moon, a traditionally female association, resting in the 4th House, the house of belonging and home. Working hard for a living to earn those things that remind us of our own experiences.

Nostalgia, anyone? This combination of possessions of emotions brings about a sentimentality that's natural for any packrat. Keeping items of no value because they take us back to experiences that we enjoyed and want to remember. Why is it easier for some people to close the door and others cling to the familiar? I, myself, am a notorious packrat. I've had to do thorough cleansings often and what I consider thorough, many would say is average. Cards, stuffed animals (don't judge), clothing, papers, playbills (far too many of these), etc. There are so many items that remind me of wonderful moments. Scrapbooking is a pasttime that I took up at one point, but with Facebook and Photobucket, it seems to make this pasttime a thing of the past.

Especially since this is the perfect time for spring cleaning, how do we decide which are the items that must be disposed of? While sentimentality is a vital part of life, at some point, you have to draw the line (unless you have unlimited storage space). Does this apply to other aspects of our lives? Is it time to clean out your buddy list and get rid of the people that you don't talk to? What about all the Facebook "friends" that are there to boost numbers?

Perhaps now is the time to go back over the things that make us remember the good times in our lives. Indulge your nostalgia. Just remember that there's always a cleanse just around the corner.

For now, happy memories.

Sarcastic Sting

FULL MOON IN SCORPIO
The moon is waxing full in the intense sign of Scorpio. Talk about a strong emotional time. Hidden sides are going to be very vulnerable right now and there's going to be an insistence upon being right. With such ferocity of emotions running rampant, it may be good to pull back a bit and examine intentions instead of merely reacting. Otherwise, we're going see a lot of sulking and brooding going on.

Arguments happen. We're not really going to go through life with everything harmonious all the time. There's always gonna be someone who comes along to screw it up. Strangely, that person may be the person we need in our lives to shake things up. After all, if no one every shook things up, we'd still believe the Earth was flat and the center of the universe. It's important to challenge, but when does the argument become unhealthy? We have words for healthy arguments: debates. It's a vital part of the American culture; it's integral to the election process. People form a lot of opinions based on presidential and vice-presidential debates. The ability to take your opponent's words and throw them back in his teeth. What a joy that is!

In our everyday lives, however, there's not a moderator sitting there telling us how much time we have left or whether something is out of line. Depending on the person you're "debating" with, certain things may be more permissible than others. A friend said to me the other day about a work situation, "I can't believe you backed down from that. The Jared I know would never have done that." Yes, but I was in my place of employment. I wouldn't argue with my supervisors in the same way that I would argue with my friends, of course. I try to respectful in all of my conversations (see Tact: A Lost Art), but sometimes, you get so heated, you just want to lash out. And people do this in different ways.

Some people choose to scream and yell, choosing volume to make their point. This is a common use of power. Louder=stronger. However, others choose to get very quiet and you have to strain to hear them. There is also incredible power in this because if forces the other person to pay attention if they want to have a decent rebuttal. I've taken classes with boisterous teachers and the moment they got quiet, you knew you were in danger. Some people choose to walk away, cool off, and return when they feel they can control themselves. Others snap into robotic-like logic. These people can be extremely frustrating for the emotional types because they want the other person to get upset and there's no reaction.

One particular favorite of many is sarcasm. While tact may be a lost art, sarcasm seems to be new Rosetta Stone for communication. I see it everywhere,; it restaurants, in classrooms, at work, in the home, in the media, etc. Swine flu should sit up and take a lesson if it wants to be a pandemic. And there seem to be so many different kinds: the zinger, the dry wit, the jokester, the apologetic, the comfort (yup, I've seen it). It's all in the tone and depends on the personality of the person or persons involved. Call it a stereotype, but I believe that the gay male is the most accepted user of sarcasm because I believe that people have come to expect it. A straight male using it is an asshole and a woman is a bitch. For some reason, gay men are expected to be pithy.

When I worked as a waiter, I heard many comments out of the mouths of other waiters to the customers and some of them were borderline rude. They never emerged from the mouths of the females, but they didn't have to. The girls flirted outrageously. And who could blame them? Their male counterparts were also excellent flirts, but many of the gay males were quick to combine flirting with witty humor that undercut their charm. The difference in tips was nil. It was amazing to hear someone slice down a customer only to receive a 20% tip. Why? I believe it's because sarcasm is expected in our society and especially from gay men. They're portrayed as such on TV and of course life mirrors art (or is it the other way around?).

Still, the sarcastic sting is best used in moderation, especially now. A relationship purely built on this kind of interchange becomes mired in that miasmic routine. It's important to have those fun, lighter moments. Fluffy as they are, without the care bear moments, that's a very hard relationship to build upon. And building is half the fun.

Take small breaks from the sarcasm. You'll be fully glad you did.

Tact: A Lost Art

MOON IN CANCER
Wait, didn't we already deja this vu? Yes, we did, but consider today a continuation of yesterday's post and taking into account that the Moon remains in the sensitive sign of Cancer, it's fitting. In addition to making everyone a little more emotional, we're all going to be a little sensitive and quite possibly, a little more critical than we might normally be. At least, on the inside. What happens when that comes out?

I started to think about the ways that we express ourselves, especially when we're offering criticism. Of course, it didn't hurt that I had my classroom management class yesterday, which is all about how to relate to students so they don't, you know, pull a gun on you for asking them to sit down. Terrifying to think that's even a worry in today's schools. I digress. The point is that there are many ways to offer information to someone else. And most people aren't stupid. They know when you're lying. They know when you're blowing smoke up their ass. Still, some are more than willing to listen to the flattery. After all, flattery will get you everywhere. What about the other side of the coin? Where does criticism get you?

For the most part, we are encouraged to speak our minds. First Amendment and all, right? Well, sure! I mean, I'm blogging here - obviously, I'm not going to argue against Freedom of Speech and Press. And most blogs tend to be somewhat controversial. That's why we read them. They're opinions, stated for everyone to read and agree or disagree with. Online, and especially in real life, it seems as though Freedom of Speech means a disregard for another person's feelings. If that person is a Cancer or a Scorpio, look out!

How you say something is just as important, if not more so, than what you say. We developed language so that we could communicate and we use it more often than not to hurt or belittle or flatter for our own gain. In such a narcissistic society, how can we be expected to look further than our own interests? Okay, okay, not everyone is out for themselves, but it's certainly encouraged through the actions we see around us every day - people shoving to get in the subway, butting in line, talking loudly on the phone; even the iPod is designed to block out the world and focus on you, you, you. Not that some selfishness isn't good, but it might not be the most effective way of communicating with others.

Story time!
I had a fairly recent event occur at my former job. Like any good artist in NYC, I was waiting tables. Now, the ketchup lids at my station had not yet been cleaned (I was finishing up) and my manager saw this, flipped out, and called the entire staff over. This was the first time that I had ever been told, warned, spoken to about the ketchup lids. Granted, he had a point - they were dirty. Okay. Valid. Totally on board with that. I was then reamed out in front of the staff as an example and written up by this manager. I was totally flabbergasted. Having now been screamed at (never one of my favorite activities), embarrassed in front of my coworkers (I'd rather see a middle school production of Mamet), and written up (with no warning) over ketchup lids, I was needlessly frustrated and angry. From then on, any time this manager was on the floor, I became hyper-sensitive, uptight, and anxious, which made me prone to more mistakes. Effective? I think not.

How I wish I could bring that manager, and some other folks I know, to the classroom management class! Perhaps it's an older generation thing, but ruling by fear is not going to yield the best results. You'll get obedience, but it'll be grudging and resentful. Had my manager simply taken me aside and said, "Look, I noticed that the ketchup lids in your section are dirty. We can't have that. Please take care of it immediately. This is your warning," I would have jumped to fix the situation and I would have been on the alert in the future, but I would not have been nervous about it. I don't need to be coddled. I don't need to be babied. I do need to be informed. A employer-employee relationship is just that: a relationship. Communication is essential in any relationship. After all, you're not going to react too fondly if your romantic partner suddenly starts screaming at you and threatens to break up with you because you left a glass on the coffee table. For something that could have been so easily fixed, he blew it completely out of proportion. The staff meeting would have also been fine if he had made it a blanket statement for everyone. "Ketchup lids are getting dirty. That's unacceptable." Cool. Message received.

Fear is not the most effective motivator. Encouragement is. I mean, real encouragement for adults. We're not children, but even the toughest adult can have a fragile self-esteem. Speaking with respect is going to gain you so much more loyalty than dangling my job in front of me. I could go with a fly/honey/vinegar cliche here, but seriously, who wants flies? Tact is not a hindrance and it shouldn't be viewed as such. We can speak to each other with respect and still disagree and get our point across. I love sarcasm as much as the next Jeanine Garrofolo, but it depends on the situation and must be used in moderation. The advent of the net has added to our lack of tact. We're not actually talking to a person; we're typing to a screen. Why bother with netiquette? Yet, it's even more dangerous because there are no social cues in written form. Thank goodness for emoticons! :)

Not trying to Emily Post here, but in today's world, it seems that we have become far less concerned with the effect we have on others and the sensitive-yet-critical Cancer in all of us has the power to snap back. I urge you to take a look at how you speak to others. We're all guilty; myself included. If you feel your tact is not intact, try a different tack.

Remember: Cancers are soft underneath their shells and they have claws, so be careful how you say what you say!