Exercise Connection

MARS IN THE 2ND HOUSE
The fighter planet, Mars, blasts its way through the 2nd House, the House of Physicality. Drive and sexuality, rooted in the physical body, pushes us to discover our limits and possibly expand them.

Speaking of pushing physical limits, I've expanded mine by embarking on a new journey at my gym. Usually, I go to the gym to do cardio with a friend of mine or make a well-intentioned attempt at free weights. Sadly, though, I don't have a great deal of experience or background in exercise (unless you count dance class). Therefore, I don't know when to up the reps, the sets, or the weights. However, I do find that cardio is very beneficial and though I don't completely understand the numbers, it's nice to know that I burned 300-500 calories, depending on the session, of course.

Recently, though, I decided that I have been missing out on a huge section of the gym membership: free classes. Now, in the past, I've gone to dance class at Broadway Dance Center or some equivalent, but I simply can't afford daily classes. Fortunately, my gym offers free classes in yoga, strength training, spinning, power dance, etc. To some, that may sound like absolute misery, but I am attempting each class in hopes of toning up with instruction. Some, like spinning, leave me completely drained afterwards. Strength training taught me that I have none. Power dance proved to me that I should never attempt to hip hop. Yoga stretched me - something I needed after taking spinning, strength training, and power dance.

There is an interesting phenomenon I have noticed in my gym experiences. When I work on the free weights, I seem to be mostly, though not exclusively, surrounded by men. Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. Yet, the second that I set foot in a class - be it yoga, strength training, or dance - the class is overwhelmingly female. Spinning evens the score a bit, but since starting the other classes, I have been the only guy in each and every class. Brings me back to middle school days of taking ballet. Years of that can prepare a guy for being the lonesome Y-chromosome member, but somehow, I figured the New York sports scene would boast a different ratio.

Why is this? Are men (in general - careful, now, I'm not making blanket statements) more independent when it comes to working out and women prefer a bit of direction? Obviously, our body types are different and need different types of workouts. Still, do we gravitate towards what will help us the most? What is easiest for us? Why this gender divide with regard to exercise? I think each gender uses the gym as a metaphor for taking control and in their own way, each enjoys the benefit of support. Women find an obvious connection with others through formalized class; men find this connection by surrounding themselves with like-acting individuals. Either way, the bond is formed and more than endorphins, that connection creates more good feeling for when one leaves the gym. It also keeps us coming back. That's why they say having a gym buddy keeps you going.

I know I will keep going. Class dismissed.

Love: Table For Two... Or More?

MARS/VENUS IN ARIES
The planets of love and passion in the driving sign of Aries are going to create a whirlwind on the relationship front. Add to that is the fact that these planets are in the 8th House, the house of regeneration, is going to create a lot of changes. We'll see numerous breakups and new connections forming. New chapters will open within established partnerships. Change is not necessarily a bad thing if it's taken constructively.

Relationships are a slippery slope. Last night, I met someone who brought up the topic of polyamory. He said he doesn't believe that there is one person for each person. It's an interesting concept. The idea that different people can fulfill different roles for us as far as love is concerned. He said it's not about sleeping around; it's about committed relationships with other people. It's consensual between multiple adults. I had never considered this concept before. The idea of being committed to different people on different levels such that the entire spectrum is covered is new to me.

I know it's natural for many people to scoff and say, "That's just being greedy." I've heard that said a great deal about the bisexual community as well. Before scoffing, I think it's important to take a look at the other aspects of our lives. We have polyamory in other forms. Our friendships alone are polyamorous. We turn to certain groups of friends in different circumstances. And it's totally accepted. There are such widely varied worlds that we circle through that it's hard to say one person would be able to fulfill the important roles in those worlds. Not to mention the minute, extra roles that we need on a daily basis.

Personally, I don't know that I could live a life of polyamory, but I think it's certainly an interesting concept to consider. When I asked him about marriage, he said that he believes that marriage should be afforded to all. Though marriage has crept more into politics than it probably was ever intended, he pointed out that many minorities are often clamoring for rights, but all of them have the right to marry. Politics has colored the world of marriage and the basic right to declare committed love has been warped by definitions required by law. Interesting that the term "love" has never needed to be defined by law. If love is truly the goal, then love in all of its forms is worth declaring.

Perhaps we'll see a number of changes with regards to perception of love while Venus and Mars sit in Aries together.

Sarcastic Sting

FULL MOON IN SCORPIO
The moon is waxing full in the intense sign of Scorpio. Talk about a strong emotional time. Hidden sides are going to be very vulnerable right now and there's going to be an insistence upon being right. With such ferocity of emotions running rampant, it may be good to pull back a bit and examine intentions instead of merely reacting. Otherwise, we're going see a lot of sulking and brooding going on.

Arguments happen. We're not really going to go through life with everything harmonious all the time. There's always gonna be someone who comes along to screw it up. Strangely, that person may be the person we need in our lives to shake things up. After all, if no one every shook things up, we'd still believe the Earth was flat and the center of the universe. It's important to challenge, but when does the argument become unhealthy? We have words for healthy arguments: debates. It's a vital part of the American culture; it's integral to the election process. People form a lot of opinions based on presidential and vice-presidential debates. The ability to take your opponent's words and throw them back in his teeth. What a joy that is!

In our everyday lives, however, there's not a moderator sitting there telling us how much time we have left or whether something is out of line. Depending on the person you're "debating" with, certain things may be more permissible than others. A friend said to me the other day about a work situation, "I can't believe you backed down from that. The Jared I know would never have done that." Yes, but I was in my place of employment. I wouldn't argue with my supervisors in the same way that I would argue with my friends, of course. I try to respectful in all of my conversations (see Tact: A Lost Art), but sometimes, you get so heated, you just want to lash out. And people do this in different ways.

Some people choose to scream and yell, choosing volume to make their point. This is a common use of power. Louder=stronger. However, others choose to get very quiet and you have to strain to hear them. There is also incredible power in this because if forces the other person to pay attention if they want to have a decent rebuttal. I've taken classes with boisterous teachers and the moment they got quiet, you knew you were in danger. Some people choose to walk away, cool off, and return when they feel they can control themselves. Others snap into robotic-like logic. These people can be extremely frustrating for the emotional types because they want the other person to get upset and there's no reaction.

One particular favorite of many is sarcasm. While tact may be a lost art, sarcasm seems to be new Rosetta Stone for communication. I see it everywhere,; it restaurants, in classrooms, at work, in the home, in the media, etc. Swine flu should sit up and take a lesson if it wants to be a pandemic. And there seem to be so many different kinds: the zinger, the dry wit, the jokester, the apologetic, the comfort (yup, I've seen it). It's all in the tone and depends on the personality of the person or persons involved. Call it a stereotype, but I believe that the gay male is the most accepted user of sarcasm because I believe that people have come to expect it. A straight male using it is an asshole and a woman is a bitch. For some reason, gay men are expected to be pithy.

When I worked as a waiter, I heard many comments out of the mouths of other waiters to the customers and some of them were borderline rude. They never emerged from the mouths of the females, but they didn't have to. The girls flirted outrageously. And who could blame them? Their male counterparts were also excellent flirts, but many of the gay males were quick to combine flirting with witty humor that undercut their charm. The difference in tips was nil. It was amazing to hear someone slice down a customer only to receive a 20% tip. Why? I believe it's because sarcasm is expected in our society and especially from gay men. They're portrayed as such on TV and of course life mirrors art (or is it the other way around?).

Still, the sarcastic sting is best used in moderation, especially now. A relationship purely built on this kind of interchange becomes mired in that miasmic routine. It's important to have those fun, lighter moments. Fluffy as they are, without the care bear moments, that's a very hard relationship to build upon. And building is half the fun.

Take small breaks from the sarcasm. You'll be fully glad you did.

Gender Blur

VENUS/MARS IN PISCES
As discussed yesterday, Pisces is enjoying four planets right now and two of those are so close, they're in what's called a conjunction. That means that they affect each other very strongly, and what better two planets than Venus and Mars? Venus, planet of love, and Mars, planet of passion, are bolstering each other during this time in Pisces, the sign of illusion. Talk about an interesting time to get into a relationship!

Still, there's a lot to discuss with regard to gender, especially when it comes to illusion! Are men really from Mars, and women from Venus? So thinks John Gray. Yet, the gender lines are not as cut and dried as they once were. We're seeing a great deal of gender blur in today's society, most of which are under the heading, Tran. Transsexuals. Transvestites. Transgender.

One of the main areas that we're seeing a blur of the genders is in clothing. That seems to be one of the biggest giveaways that someone is playing with their gender. Some might argue that it all started back when women first wore pants. Thank goodness for Elizabeth Miller and her suffragette ways back in the 1800s! Who would have thought wearing pants would have been such a political move? Fashion has always made a statement. World War I was the true advent of pants as women had to take up the work while the men fought. What a gender bend THAT must have been! Women in the work force? How gauche! Yet, now, it's perfectly acceptable for women to wear pants, suits, button down shirts, ties - all classically male clothing.

What about a man in a dress? Well, that's just weird, isn't it? Unless you're Scottish and then it's not a skirt, it's a kilt. What a difference it is to see a man in female clothing than it is to see a woman in men's clothing. Admit it, guys - seeing your girlfriend wearing just button down shirt is hot. Okay, ladies, would you want to see your boyfriend in your miniskirt? Not sexy at all, is it? In fact, there was just an article in the paper about a husband who had been married for 5 years and his wife just found out that he likes wearing her underwear. She's completely up in arms about it. The doctor at hand suggested that it would be akin to seeing her in his briefs and work boots. Yet, I bet there are more men who find that image arousing than women who would be attracted to the husband in panties.

Walking into any clothing store, you'll notice that the genders are distinctly separated. Men on the first floor, women on the second, or vice-versa, but take a good look at the clothing being offered. Some of it looks awfully similar, doesn't it? Then take a look at some of the people around you. Are you seeing fairly gender neutral clothing that hints one way or another by the length of sleeve or the cut of the leg? Nothing is so cut in stone anymore with regard to gender; not even fashion. Oh, sure, many will argue that sleeve length goes a long way to delineate gender, but think of where we've come from - bodice and bustles to tshirts and jeans. A sleeve length makes the difference?!

However, cross-dressing today will still make an impact. I remember watching Eddie Izzard with my family and my father couldn't get past the fact that he was dressed like a woman. It was a preference. I wanted him to just watch and listen, but the comedy was overpowered by the visual disturbance. Drag is a powerful entertainment tool - just look at RuPaul. She's made drag into a career!

We can then take the train from Dragville to Transgendervania. Men and women who feel that they've been born into the wrong bodies. How much of gender is about genitalia? Does the physicality make a difference? Many would say, "No." It's not about the body you were born into; it's about who you are inside. As we've been told since we were kids, don't judge a book by its cover. How must it feel to be uncomfortable in your own body? To gender identify with the opposite sex? Never mind sexuality. This is just about being yourself. It's amazing to think how societal norms must affect these folks. Of course, we do kind of screw it up from the get-go and dress boys in blue and girls in red. Red is traditionally a masculine color, symbolizing virility, anger, passion, war, blood. Blue represents emotion, intuition, connection, mystery, love. We've been cross-dressing since we were babies!

An errant thought: if Pennsylvania is Penn's Woods, shouldn't Transylvania be filled with cross-dressing trees?

There are many ways that genders are blurring more and more nowadays and it's not just clothing, but what you wear has always been an expression of individuality. Some are more willing to show theirs. There will most likely be other gender rants, but until then, enjoy the Venus/Mars conjunction!