Wedded Bliss

SUN IN LEO
The basic planet of warmth is in its ruled sign, Leo, the sign of drama and creativity. This is when the bombasticism of life comes out in spades and people show their more domineering and aggressive sides. This is also when we see the more entertaining elements of life come to the forefront. Additionally, the sun is in the 7th House, the house of partnerships. Creativity and dramatics abound in our relationships such that we might see flare ups and passionate resolutions.

This past weekend, I attended my third wedding of this year. (There are seven in total. Hmmm, seven weddings, 7th house is the house of partnerships...and 2009=2 numerologically. Gotta love synchronicity.) This wedding was slightly different from the others. Well, all weddings are different, of course, but this had an added element of being my first lesbian wedding. Not only that, but an interfaith wedding on top of that - Jewish/Christian. Strangely enough, that seems to be a theme this year. Third wedding, and all three so far have been Jewish/Christian weddings. However, where the first two were Jewish/Italian, this one was Jewish/German.

It was a beautiful ceremony and very much tailored to the interests of the brides. It took place in a synagogue (somewhere I haven't been in forever), under a homemade chuppah. The chuppah was created through the efforts of friends. Each guest was given a square of fabric to design in any way that they saw fit (within reason, of course) and they were sewn together to create the chuppah. The music was chosen by the brides and it was untraditional and very poignant. I don't think I've cried so much at a ceremony in my life. (Yeah, I'm sensitive.) They kept my favorite Jewish tradition: the breaking of the glass at the end. My favorite explanation of this tradition is that love will last as long as it takes to put the myriad of pieces back together.

There was another cup used in the ceremony: the German wedding cup. Here is the tale as written in the program:

Legend says a young noblewoman fell in love with a goldsmith. Her father, who did not approve of the marriage, made the following proposal: "If your goldsmith can make a chalice from which two people can drink at the same time without spilling one single drop, you may marry him." Inspired by love and with skillful hands, the young goldsmith created a masterpiece which owon his beloved's hand in marriage.

The German wedding cup that the brides used was also used for the wedding of the brother of one bride. It was a lovely tradition that connected the family to the ceremony. While the brides were the focus of the wedding, of course, they made sure their friends and family shared a large part of the day. We all felt included in this public declaration of love. It was unique and powerful and I am happy to have been a part of it.

More weddings to come.

Pride

MOON IN LIBRA
The moon, an emotional planet, resides in Libra, the sign of harmony and equality. This combination makes for a strong inner sense of fairness. We may see some movements towards equality and a desire to avoid conflict. People may show more tact in their methods of communication.

One of the greatest demonstrations of the fight for equality is the gay pride parade which occurred today in NYC. In the four and a half years that I've been here in New York, have never had the opportunity to attend this illustrious event. Needless to say, I was eager and excited to go this year and I made arrangements with friends of mine to meet up. Prior to this, I had had the pleasure of attending Allentown Pride (oh, yeah, REAL exciting), and Philadelphia Pride (much more exciting). I couldn't imagine what NYC Pride had in store.

Friends of mine went to Love Ball last evening. And I use the term "evening" loosely. Cinderelal would not have been able to handle this ball. It went from 10pm until dawn. Now, let me go on record by saying that I am not the party gay boy and never have been. It's not a lifestyle to which I am accustomed, but I have nothing against it. I spent last night at home, enjoying roommate time. I arose this morning and dressed in my best regalia: tight little jeans and my Ja(Red) shirt. Leather bracelet, rainbow bracelet, and gay pride rings. I strapped on my rainbow shoulder bag and my boots and I was out the door, on my way to the parade.

I arrived at the parade at noon and immediately found that my friends were going to be late. I befriended a photographer and we chatted for a bit. She and I watched the opening of the parade. Dykes on bikes started it off. There is something so awesome (in the traditional sense of the word) about the pride parade. There are so many ways to show pride and so many different areas of life to be proud of, not just in the gay community, but even within the alternative lifestyles. It was incredible to me. I especially loved the PFlag groups. It actually brought tears to my eyes to see families marching together.

My friends and I met up eventually. I never realized how political it would be. There were innumerable politicians marching with stickers and buttons and signs, demonstrating their support. There were so many different elements of support. In fact, the sign that caught my eye the most was carried by a woman marching alone: "Straight Married Christian Supporting Gay Rights." There was so much love and screaming and clapping. It was incredible to be part of it.

It was an experience I will never forget and I am looking forward to next year. To all who are celebrating every day in their own way: happy pride!

Commitment

MAY 27, 6PM
The sun is in Gemini, as are the moon and Mercury. Venus and Mars share Taurus. Those of you who read charts are looking at the chart on this page and thinking, that's not right at all. The moon is in Cancer, Mercury's in Taurus, and Venus and Mars share Aries. I'm using a chart from thirty years ago. Saturn is back in Virgo in the 10th House, having returned.

Thirty years is quite a long time. I still haven't lived that long. However, it was on this day, thirty years ago, that my parents declared their love before friends and family. They committed themselves to each other and have remained committed for all these years.

Commit. Such an interesting and multifaceted word. Forgive the digression, but it must be explored for a moment. Interesting that we use the same word in reference to marriage as we do for battle (commit troops), insanity (commit to a mental institution), faith (commit to God), destruction (commit to the flames), politics (commit to an issue), and crime (commit murder).

Marriage is such a huge issue nowadays and has been for quite awhile now. Yesterday, California upheld Prop 8, a law that marginalizes a group of people and denies them the right to declare their love in a lawful ceremony. Perfect timing, California. Today is the thirtieth anniversary of the day Dan White was convicted for the assassination of Harvey Milk. Milk was committed to the cause of making sure that a group of people weren't marginalized for being who they are. Yet, today, the fight is still going on today. Strange to think that in thirty years, we haven't progressed as much as we might have thought. The battles that were being fought at the time are similar, if not the same as, the battles that are being fought today and on the same basis, one of which is religion.

It's been said that fashion goes through a thirty year cycle. Well, we can see that happening around us. Moving from flared jeans and peasant-y shirts to long, tunic-y shirts with wide belts around them in neon colors and skinny jeans? Oh, the 80's are back, dear friends. Is it the same with politics? Granted, it's pretty difficult to find an offense worse than skinny jeans, but I'd say that the marginalization of an entire group of people takes precedence. California, dear state, did any of you see Milk? Have you noticed the progression that has been made? Basic, human, unalienable rights. Does the right actually care about rights? We came here for freedoms and wouldn't the freedom to love be a basic, human, unalienable right? One would hope so. With the right trying to secure rights only for a select group of people, and the left fighting for who is left, then we're choosing security over freedom, and as Ben Franklin said, "Those who sacrifice freedom for security deserve neither."

Thirty years ago, my parents made a decision to entwine their lives in public fashion, a decision that has kept them happily together for three decades. Marriage was an option open to them. Denial of choice to those whose lifestyle is not a choice seems inane to me. And before you argue that marriage is a sacred practice, let's look at some reasons that people get married. There are people who get married because the girl is pregnant. Some people do it for the benefits of law. Some to keep certain people in the country. Some are lonely. Some want to escape their parents. Some to have sex. There are so many reasons and not all of them adhere to the sacredness of this strictly sanctioned ceremony. For something that's held up on a pedestal, we seem to do a lot of chipping away in our attempt to reach it.

And of course, there's love. Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad.

Perhaps we should all be committed.

Silence is Fool's Gold

MERCURY TRINE SATURN The planet of communication (retrograde) is in harmonious aspect with the planet of limitations. Subjects that might not normally be touched will come to the surface. Other subjects will seem completely off-limits. Be prepared for new realms of conversation to be explored.

Censorship is an interesting topic in this day and age. We like to think that we have moved to a place where any subject is able to be discussed, that we've moved beyond Farenheit 451, but many people say that there are two subjects never to be brought up in conversation: religion and politics. Interesting. I realize these are intensely personal topics that can be volatile, but without the ability to discuss such things, how can we further expand our own feelings and views regarding certain topics? It's so hard to reexamine ideas that one has had for so long. It also depends on the environment.

One such environment is the school environment. Ironically, the place meant for learning and exploring is often censored with regard to topics and manner. Curriculum becomes very important. However, are we doing our children a disservice by ignoring those subjects that they may find out about in other ways? Sex? Death? Throw in evolution/creationism and we've got the triumverate of forbidden school subjects.

Still, children are curious. What about those who want to learn about subjects that we don't normally teach? Take 6th grader, Natalie Jones, for instance. She worked hard on an independent study about Harvey Milk, creating a PowerPoint. The day before she was to present it, she was called into the principal's office, who told her that the presentation was very good, but that she might not be able to show it because of the sensitive subject nature. The district sent out a permission slip for all parents to sign. For a project about a man who fought for equality, one of our basic rights, along with the freedom of speech, this seems ironic. I applaud Natalie for broaching a controversial subject and I bet Harvey Milk himself would be proud of her.

Sarcastic Sting

FULL MOON IN SCORPIO
The moon is waxing full in the intense sign of Scorpio. Talk about a strong emotional time. Hidden sides are going to be very vulnerable right now and there's going to be an insistence upon being right. With such ferocity of emotions running rampant, it may be good to pull back a bit and examine intentions instead of merely reacting. Otherwise, we're going see a lot of sulking and brooding going on.

Arguments happen. We're not really going to go through life with everything harmonious all the time. There's always gonna be someone who comes along to screw it up. Strangely, that person may be the person we need in our lives to shake things up. After all, if no one every shook things up, we'd still believe the Earth was flat and the center of the universe. It's important to challenge, but when does the argument become unhealthy? We have words for healthy arguments: debates. It's a vital part of the American culture; it's integral to the election process. People form a lot of opinions based on presidential and vice-presidential debates. The ability to take your opponent's words and throw them back in his teeth. What a joy that is!

In our everyday lives, however, there's not a moderator sitting there telling us how much time we have left or whether something is out of line. Depending on the person you're "debating" with, certain things may be more permissible than others. A friend said to me the other day about a work situation, "I can't believe you backed down from that. The Jared I know would never have done that." Yes, but I was in my place of employment. I wouldn't argue with my supervisors in the same way that I would argue with my friends, of course. I try to respectful in all of my conversations (see Tact: A Lost Art), but sometimes, you get so heated, you just want to lash out. And people do this in different ways.

Some people choose to scream and yell, choosing volume to make their point. This is a common use of power. Louder=stronger. However, others choose to get very quiet and you have to strain to hear them. There is also incredible power in this because if forces the other person to pay attention if they want to have a decent rebuttal. I've taken classes with boisterous teachers and the moment they got quiet, you knew you were in danger. Some people choose to walk away, cool off, and return when they feel they can control themselves. Others snap into robotic-like logic. These people can be extremely frustrating for the emotional types because they want the other person to get upset and there's no reaction.

One particular favorite of many is sarcasm. While tact may be a lost art, sarcasm seems to be new Rosetta Stone for communication. I see it everywhere,; it restaurants, in classrooms, at work, in the home, in the media, etc. Swine flu should sit up and take a lesson if it wants to be a pandemic. And there seem to be so many different kinds: the zinger, the dry wit, the jokester, the apologetic, the comfort (yup, I've seen it). It's all in the tone and depends on the personality of the person or persons involved. Call it a stereotype, but I believe that the gay male is the most accepted user of sarcasm because I believe that people have come to expect it. A straight male using it is an asshole and a woman is a bitch. For some reason, gay men are expected to be pithy.

When I worked as a waiter, I heard many comments out of the mouths of other waiters to the customers and some of them were borderline rude. They never emerged from the mouths of the females, but they didn't have to. The girls flirted outrageously. And who could blame them? Their male counterparts were also excellent flirts, but many of the gay males were quick to combine flirting with witty humor that undercut their charm. The difference in tips was nil. It was amazing to hear someone slice down a customer only to receive a 20% tip. Why? I believe it's because sarcasm is expected in our society and especially from gay men. They're portrayed as such on TV and of course life mirrors art (or is it the other way around?).

Still, the sarcastic sting is best used in moderation, especially now. A relationship purely built on this kind of interchange becomes mired in that miasmic routine. It's important to have those fun, lighter moments. Fluffy as they are, without the care bear moments, that's a very hard relationship to build upon. And building is half the fun.

Take small breaks from the sarcasm. You'll be fully glad you did.