"We Need To Talk"

SATURN IN THE 8TH HOUSE
The strict and no-nonsense planet, Saturn, is drifting across the House of Regeneration and Change at the moment. It may be that we're going to see former boundaries shifted to make room for new endeavors. Or perhaps something that was once permissible is no longer within the realm of proper behavior. It's time to assess your own boundaries and limits and where you stand with others. Perhaps there's a conversation coming up with those close to you to redefine the parameters of the relationship.

Speaking of such conversations, I've come to the conclusion that there is no more frightening opening to a conversation than four little words: "We need to talk." Or some variation thereof. Be it from a lover, a friend, a parent, a sibling, a teacher...those four words can set your heart racing. Your brain immediately begins conjuring up all possible topics of conversation and they're rarely positive ones, right? Why might this person be upset with me? What have I done recently to anger someone? Is there someone else involved? Where will this lead? Is this going to change the whole relationship? Is it going to be awkward after this? And so on. The mind just trips over the multitude of potential sources for this pending discussion.

The worst, of course, is when it's soemthing postponed. You're lucky if you get the, "We need to talk" immediately followed by the dreaded discussion. There's less time to panic. More often than not, though, there's a wait period. The words are said, and of course, you respond with something like, "Um, okay. Let's talk." To which, they respond, "No, not right now. We'll talk later." This further compounds the disaster initiated by the "We have to talk." Now, your brain has plenty of time to review scenarios. You've started to develop possible topics and the manner of conversation that will cover those topics. You're planning your responses in advance. You're ready.

And usually, it's nothing serious. After all, this person is in your life for a reason, right? They want you to succeed. They're supporting you. So, usually, it's nothing more than a, "Hey, is it okay if a friend stays at our place on Friday night?" or possibly a, "You didn't take out the trash." Something completely innocuous that would have never been cause for alarm if not set up with the introduction of doom.

I can only suggest that people use this phrase sparingly and with sensitivity. One can hope that as Saturn imposes its restricting influence on the House of Change, and boundaries shift, that most discussions do not begin with "We need to talk."

Getting Reacquainted

SUN IN LIBRA
The sun has just entered the seventh sign of the zodiac, Libra, sign of balance, harmony, and relationships. Libra is currently sitting in the 7th House, the House of Partnerships. We should see a deliberate shift of focus from the quotidian minutae of Virgo to the more social, outgoing nature of our connection-centric selves.

It has been nigh a month since I last wrote and apologize for that. Things have been quite busy, not the least because of Mercury's decision to travel retrograde. Still, Libra brings relationships and balance to the forefront, so I return to connect with my readers.

A focus on relationships doesn't necessarily mean romance. And with Mercury in retrograde, there's high possibility for miscommunication and misunderstandings. Still, in examining our relationships, it's important to take a look at what benefits each of us in our connections with others, be they friends, family, or even foe. Yes, believe it or not, you have a strong relationships with your enemies too; consider the emotion involved. It's the acquaintances you have to examine in depth, since they are the ones you don't have such a deep emotional involvement with!

Sun-in-Libra is an special time for me because my natal sun is in Libra, meaning my birthday is coming up. Yes, I am a Libra; I admit it! I am charming, shallow, vain, and relationship conscious. We just can't help it. One of the hardest things for most Libras to deal with (besides making a decision) is handling the anger or depression of others with regard to them. Libras are a balance-oriented breed and the thought that someone could be upset with us is highly disturbing. We don't like to fight or argue and unless there's a strong water or earth streak in the chart, we don't hold grudges very well. The only time a Libra will come out swinging is if there is a question of fairness. We are sticklers for fair treatment - it comes from being able to see both sides of the story, which is a curse and a blessing.

Recent events have brought to my awareness the way that different people deal with issues of injustice, unfairness, and hurt. I have many friends who are able to close a door. Some of them slam it shut. Do not get on their bad side for you will never recover from it. They encourage others to do the same, seeing former friends who have hurt them as a cancerous element of society that they prefer to cut out. With the power of "defriending" someone on Facebook, there's an added way to make the point.

Others are more willing to forgive. My parents taught me that in every relationship, you start out with 100% trust. Once that trust is broken, you go down to 0% and you have to work your way back up. I've adopted this theory because I like to believe that people are basically good. They have their faults, of course. Everyone has their baggage. It's whether we can handle the baggage that matters. I want to be a forgiving person who understands that people make mistakes, but there comes a point where you have to recognize that no matter how much you may understand their side of the story, you still ended up hurt. Self-preservation has to play a part at some point, doesn't it?

One of my friends subscribes to the adage, "Forgive, but don't forget." This is becoming increasingly sensible as I watch the events around me. I'm studying to be an educator, after all. Understand that people make mistakes. Know that they will. Expect it. Students are encouraged to try and not be afraid of failure. Intention should count for something, even though the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Still, if something is not meant to be malicious, I can usually understand it. Even so, learn from it. Don't forget. Forgetting dooms the victim to repetition. Learn and be guarded next time. Go into things with eyes open. "Forgive, but don't forget," seems to embody the balance required by a Libran Sun. We must remember that people are not always out to get us, that they might see things in a different way and it can be misconstrued, that they are acting on their behalf - then so must we. Learn from the situation, and move forward.

The sun continues to shine and there are more relationships to be explored.

Happy Equinox!

Radio Debut!

MARS IN GEMINI
Gemini, the sign of communication, is playing host to Mars, planet of ambition. People will be developing a stronger and more passionate method of communication. Arguments may develop (Mars was the Roman god of war), so be careful.

I have the distinct honor and privilege of being Mark David Gerson's guest on his blogtalkradio show: The Muse and You. Details are as follows:

Show time: 12 Central (1pm ET / 10am PT)

Call-in #: 646-595-4478

All friends are welcome to call in (same number as you'll be using) with questions. If you have a blogtalk radio account, you can also log in and ask questions through the chat room. Listeners can also tweet their questions (@markdavidgerson.com); he will be monitoring his feed throughout the show.

Information on Mark David:

Mark David Gerson is an internationally recognized author, speaker, mentor and coach whose inspirational writings are read in more than two dozen countries.

Through more than 15 years of classes, workshops, coaching and consulting, Mark David has guided groups and individuals to connect with their innate wisdom, open to their creative power and express themselves with ease.

Poets and playwrights, novelists and educators, amateurs and professionals, people who don't believe they can write and people with a compelling call to write — all have benefited from working with him, as have nonwriters seeking to move through life's challenges and awaken to their highest potential.

Mark David is author of the award-winning novel, The MoonQuest: A True Fantasy, and of The Voice of the Muse: Answering the Call to Write, a book and companion 2-CD set of writing inspiration, instruction and practice.

He recently completed a screenplay adaptation of The MoonQuest and is at work on the first of two projected sequels to the book.

Hope you tune in! Looking forward to hearing from you!

Word Of Mouth

PLUTO IN THE THIRD HOUSE
Pluto, planet of power, rests in the 3rd House, the house of communication and humanity. People will find great importance in what they and others say, write, and other media of conveyance. Pay close attention to what your friends are saying or telling you through their body language. You might find some hidden tidbits.

In the vein of communication (or lack thereof), I realize I am way overdue for a new blog post and I beg the forgiveness of my readers. However, with power rooted in communication, especially with the influence of Capricorn, there is great potential for growth, especially with regard to career and recently, there have been many developments in my literary world. Since that has been an enormous influence in my life, I can't help writing about it, so I am excited to make the following announcements.

Firstly, I have just been introduced to blogtalkradio, which is an online radio talk show website, where you can tune in to shows of varying topics. I've been exploring some of the shows and in fact, one of my newest friends just began a wonderful show, called "The Muse & You." His name is Mark David Gerson and he is an award winning author who helps people with their creativity. I have the pleasure to say that I will be his guest on August 20th at 1pm EST, talking about the writing process. Please feel free to tune in and check it out!

In other book news, Rising Sign was just entered into the Wake Up Celebrity Author Contest, where votes from all around the world count to rate it as far as cover, title, and summary are concerned. The more votes and the higher rating, the better the book does and the winner of the contest will be pushed to the top of the Barnes and Noble bestseller list; a coveted position among writers. As many of you are readers in your own right, I would be honored to have you stop by and cast your vote for Rising Sign.

Tell all friends. As Pluto in the 3rd House demonstrates, word of mouth can be a powerful influence.

Thank you to everyone who has been steadily reading for their continued support and I promise that the next blog will be much more entertaining.

Rising Sign!

NEPTUNE/JUPITER CONJUNCTION IN THE 3rd HOUSE
Neptune, the planet of escape, and the Jupiter, planet of expansion, are together in the 3rd House, the house of communication and writing. People may be returning to reading and writing for entertainment. There may be a renewed dedication to blogging or maybe folks will pick up that book they haven't been able to get through.

Speaking of books, I have a bit of an announcement, if you'll forgive the shameless plug. My first novel, Rising Sign, is now available for purchase. If you're looking for that great summer read, this is a great choice, if I do say so myself (and I do).

"What's it about?" you ask. Well, imagine if the astrological signs were made human. What if they had special abilities on top of that? Now, throw in a deadly enemy and an child who can save the world. Sound interesting? If that doesn't sell you, head over to the Star Child Trilogy website and read the first two chapters. Here are a few of the reviews from folks who have read the novel:

"This novel kept me enthralled from start to finish."

"[...]it consumed my lunch, my train ride, and into the wee hours of the night."

"The development of each character in conjunction with his/her astrology is a remarkably intriguing twist on the sci-fi adventure epic[...]"

"This is a great book for both teens and adults who love adventures in the world of the supernatural."

So stop by and grab a copy today! :)

And now, back to your regularly scheduled blogging...

Idiomatic

MERCURY IN GEMINI IN THE 3RD HOUSE
Triple threat. Mercury, planet of the mind, sits in its naturally ruled sign, Gemini. Both are in their natural house, the 3rd House, house of communication. We'll see a sharp peak in communication while this alignment exists.

Communication is a funny concept. We discussed some of it back in Tact: A Lost Art. There are always certain phrases that are innate to a language. Vernacular is powerful. Phrases such as "It's raining cats and dogs" or even "What's up?" are ingrained to mean things other than their literal interpretation. We all accept that these are known.

I had an interesting incident today at work. One of my supervisors sent me an instant message. Now, I know that instant messages have their own versions of language and their own rules regarding response time.

Sidebar: Apparently, if there is romantic interest, not responding within four hours to a text message is considered rude. (Keep that in mind.)

So, I was in a meeting and I get back to my desk and there's an IM on my screen asking for a username and a password for one of our sites. It had been sent, I saw, some seven minutes prior. As I laid my fingers on the keyboard to tap out a response, a new message popped up on the screen: "Nevermind." Shrugging, I went back to my work. Not three minutes later, another message pops up. "Are you going to respond to my IMs? It's been like, 10 minutes." I blinked. Um, did I miss a social cue? Does not "nevermind" mean "forget about it; don't bother responding?" Who responds to "nevermind?" I wouldn't even know what to say to that.

Seriously, let's get with the program people! Learn the words and know what they mean! I mean, am I alone on this? Anyone? Anyone?!

Nevermind...

A Funny Thing Happened...

JUPITER IN AQUARIUS
The expansive planet Jupiter, ruler of Sagittarius (sign of exploration), is in Aquarius, the sign of originality. A wider realm of exploration opens before us. Travel to exotic places will be highly attractive now. New ways of learning will develop.

I am happy to announce that I've adopted one of the newest developments: the forums. I realize that online forums are not well-known, but I've seen them used in many ways. One is for education, as used by the Grey School of Wizardry. Another is for authors to communicate with their readers, such as Skyla Dawn Cameron's forums. A friend suggested to me that this might be a wonderful medium for my own novel. I thought it was a great idea and thus, the Star Child Trilogy forums have been created.

I'm so excited about the forums that I just had to announce it and invite all readers to check them out. They're easy and fun to use. You can create a profile. You connect with friends. You can discuss numerous topics. It's definitely a new world to explore. I encourage everyone to take a gander at the forums and maybe take a chance by creating a profile. Hope to see you there!

The 31rst Day

SUN IN GEMINI
The sun is just over a week into its transit through the communicative sign of Gemini. Currently, this is taking place in the 11th House, the house of friends and originality. We'll see interesting subjects brought up in conversation and some new ways of reaching out.

The blog is one of the most original ways of communicating with friends. I know, I know, it seems like everyone's doing it, but still, all bloggers have to find their niche. As Sondheim wrote, "You gotta get a gimmick."

My blog is just about a month and a half old. For 31 days, I've been participating in the May Blogathon created by Michelle Rafter. I found out about the blogathon from following another blog, Write Beyond The Cubicle, by KT Hinderer. I saw that she was participating and, in an effort to challenge myself, I signed up. I thought it would be fun to try blogging every day. And it's been quite an adventure. It introduced me to a number of other bloggers, including Sara Lancaster, who was kind enough to blog with me for guest blog day!

Part of the goal was to get more followers, but instead of working towards the goal of more followers, I ended up stretching myself as a writer. I took on some subjects I might not have covered otherwise. Blogging is also forcing me to test my boundaries as an astrologer. I know that most of you skip the first paragraph, jumping right to the "meat" of the blog, but I still enjoy writing that introduction from the stars. It helps me to connect to quotidian astrology.

I'm really enjoying seeing some of the comments that people are leaving; on here, on Facebook, etc. It's great to know that at least someone is reading my blog! Writing every day is a wonderful practice to keep your mind active and your skills honed. Additionally, for someone who usually avoids the news (it's always SO depressing!), it's pushed me to branch out and read more of what's going on in the world, sometimes in a desperate attempt to find something to blog about!

Writing all month has been a wonderful experience and I hope that it's instilled in me the discipline to write on a regular basis from here on out. It's great catharsis - who needs therapy when you're writing out your feelings on a daily basis? I get to write out frustrations, joys, and even just silliness. Though the blogathon is ending, Sign In Ink has used it as a jumping off point and will continue to bring you a myriad of topics, always with an astrological base.

Thank you, Michelle Rafter, for the 2nd Annual May Blogathon! Sign In Ink will be there for the 3rd!

Silence is Fool's Gold

MERCURY TRINE SATURN The planet of communication (retrograde) is in harmonious aspect with the planet of limitations. Subjects that might not normally be touched will come to the surface. Other subjects will seem completely off-limits. Be prepared for new realms of conversation to be explored.

Censorship is an interesting topic in this day and age. We like to think that we have moved to a place where any subject is able to be discussed, that we've moved beyond Farenheit 451, but many people say that there are two subjects never to be brought up in conversation: religion and politics. Interesting. I realize these are intensely personal topics that can be volatile, but without the ability to discuss such things, how can we further expand our own feelings and views regarding certain topics? It's so hard to reexamine ideas that one has had for so long. It also depends on the environment.

One such environment is the school environment. Ironically, the place meant for learning and exploring is often censored with regard to topics and manner. Curriculum becomes very important. However, are we doing our children a disservice by ignoring those subjects that they may find out about in other ways? Sex? Death? Throw in evolution/creationism and we've got the triumverate of forbidden school subjects.

Still, children are curious. What about those who want to learn about subjects that we don't normally teach? Take 6th grader, Natalie Jones, for instance. She worked hard on an independent study about Harvey Milk, creating a PowerPoint. The day before she was to present it, she was called into the principal's office, who told her that the presentation was very good, but that she might not be able to show it because of the sensitive subject nature. The district sent out a permission slip for all parents to sign. For a project about a man who fought for equality, one of our basic rights, along with the freedom of speech, this seems ironic. I applaud Natalie for broaching a controversial subject and I bet Harvey Milk himself would be proud of her.

Writing With The No. 2 Pen

SUN ENTERS GEMINI
The Sun officially enters Gemini today, so all of you who are born under the Twins, cheer! Gemini is the sign of communication, writing, and mental activities. It's also the sign of two-facedness, superficiality, and flightiness. As always, there are positive and negative aspects of each sign, but when you're a twin in your own body, it can get complicated! Get ready for verbosity, pranks, and a lot of fun.

With Gemini being the sign of writing, I am thrilled to introduce my guest blogger for today, a fellow Blogathoner, Sara Lancaster! Sara Lancaster is the primary writer and company owner of the No. 2 Pen, a Denver-based freelance writing company that specializes in writing Web content and other marketing materials for small businesses. Take it away, Sara!

I have to be honest, when Jared and I first discussed our blog post trade I thought to myself: What in the world do I have to say about astrological signs?

At the start he mentioned that today is the day the Sun enters Gemini so I could try to incorporate that into my post. And again I thought to myself: I am going to be so embarrassed after this show of my ignorance is put on display.

Finally, Jared said the one thing that changed it all. He told me that Gemini is the sign of communication and writing, and then I was all … Astrology rocks and I can’t wait to blog about it.

Funny how all I needed was one small connection to relate to and I was excited to write again. I think this concept is true of so many areas of life.

As a full-time writer I find that some days are tougher to write than others and some topics are harder to write about than others. It all comes down to energy, mood, and motivation, which I think we can all agree has everything to do with the state of the universe. I may not know much about astrology, but that doesn’t mean I don’t see the truth in it.

In times when I feel stuck or lack that motivation, the easy fix (besides a cup of coffee and a stern pep talk) is to focus on how the task at hand relates to me personally. My clients come from all walks of life—from graduate students to car sales people to lawyers—and obviously I can’t say I understand where each of them is coming from every time.

The solution is to communicate with the client and ask for one thing: How does your business impact me? “Me” being the proverbial “reader.” Once I understand where he or she is coming from and I find a way to relate to it personally, the words seem to flow much easier.

Couldn't agree more, Sara. Communication and connection are key! Connect to Sara's blog at No 2. Pen, where you can find more tidbits about writing and my guest post for today.

Choose Your Words

THE THIRD HOUSE
The Sun and Mercury sit in the 3rd House, the house of communication, rife with Taurean energy. A more physical expression of communication will develop prevalence and body language becomes increasingly important. Keep an eye out for what's happening around you in conversation.

Speaking of physical communication, I had an incredible privilege to attend dinner, theatre, and drinks in the company of hearing and Deaf friends. Nine people sat down to dinner; two Deaf friends, four hearing friends who have varying levels of sign, and three people who don't sign at all. The number of conversations that were flying around was dizzyingly intoxicating (perhaps that was the frozen margarita...). I'd turn from one spoken and signed conversation for the benefit of both parties to join a conversation on the other side being spoken only in sign to then be distracted back to the first conversation by voices. I did my best to keep up with the purely signed conversations and coordinate my signs with my stories (something even harder to do once the food was served). Fingers were flying, people were laughing, new friends were made.

Afterwards, I attended a production of Sign-Arella, a musical loosely based on Cinderella that, in fact, cites many fairy tales and nursery rhymes. It was the first time I'd ever seen a show that contained both Deaf and hearing actors. The leads were both Deaf; their voices were provided by musician/singers from the band. For the speaking actors, two interpreters sat near the front of the stage and signed. Thus, each character was voiced in two different ways. My friend, who is Deaf, was one of the actors and was absolutely fabulous. His performance was so expressive and was reminiscent of ballet; where a language so intricately connected to movement conveys meaning through specific position. This is not to say he was the only one to delight. The cast was a splendid array of talents and the script, full of puns, was filled with savory tidbits of youthful humor. It wasn't until afterwards that I learned that the Fairy Godmother was the one to write the script and suddenly it made sense (who else would picture a fairy godmother from Brooklyn?). There were numerous jokes that landed at different times as the sign caught up with the sound or vice-versa. I've seen many shows in my life, but I've never seen a show like I did tonight. It was awesome in the traditional sense of the word - awe inspiring.

Post show, I met a number of the actors in the show and we went out for drinks at The Duplex. Walking towards the bar, we ended up walking in pairs and I couldn't help but notice that each pair had one Deaf member and one hearing member. Everyone was signing and talking and just having a wonderful time. We all settled into the bar where there was live piano music and singing. Quickly, the bar began to fill up and the noise grew to a level such that the combination of music and voices made it hard to hear any kind of conversation. It was great to still be able to hold conversation across tables with my friends, old and newfound. I think it was one of the coolest evenings that I've enjoyed in my life.

Thank you to the cast of Sign-Arella and to my friends for such a delicious experience!

Sarcastic Sting

FULL MOON IN SCORPIO
The moon is waxing full in the intense sign of Scorpio. Talk about a strong emotional time. Hidden sides are going to be very vulnerable right now and there's going to be an insistence upon being right. With such ferocity of emotions running rampant, it may be good to pull back a bit and examine intentions instead of merely reacting. Otherwise, we're going see a lot of sulking and brooding going on.

Arguments happen. We're not really going to go through life with everything harmonious all the time. There's always gonna be someone who comes along to screw it up. Strangely, that person may be the person we need in our lives to shake things up. After all, if no one every shook things up, we'd still believe the Earth was flat and the center of the universe. It's important to challenge, but when does the argument become unhealthy? We have words for healthy arguments: debates. It's a vital part of the American culture; it's integral to the election process. People form a lot of opinions based on presidential and vice-presidential debates. The ability to take your opponent's words and throw them back in his teeth. What a joy that is!

In our everyday lives, however, there's not a moderator sitting there telling us how much time we have left or whether something is out of line. Depending on the person you're "debating" with, certain things may be more permissible than others. A friend said to me the other day about a work situation, "I can't believe you backed down from that. The Jared I know would never have done that." Yes, but I was in my place of employment. I wouldn't argue with my supervisors in the same way that I would argue with my friends, of course. I try to respectful in all of my conversations (see Tact: A Lost Art), but sometimes, you get so heated, you just want to lash out. And people do this in different ways.

Some people choose to scream and yell, choosing volume to make their point. This is a common use of power. Louder=stronger. However, others choose to get very quiet and you have to strain to hear them. There is also incredible power in this because if forces the other person to pay attention if they want to have a decent rebuttal. I've taken classes with boisterous teachers and the moment they got quiet, you knew you were in danger. Some people choose to walk away, cool off, and return when they feel they can control themselves. Others snap into robotic-like logic. These people can be extremely frustrating for the emotional types because they want the other person to get upset and there's no reaction.

One particular favorite of many is sarcasm. While tact may be a lost art, sarcasm seems to be new Rosetta Stone for communication. I see it everywhere,; it restaurants, in classrooms, at work, in the home, in the media, etc. Swine flu should sit up and take a lesson if it wants to be a pandemic. And there seem to be so many different kinds: the zinger, the dry wit, the jokester, the apologetic, the comfort (yup, I've seen it). It's all in the tone and depends on the personality of the person or persons involved. Call it a stereotype, but I believe that the gay male is the most accepted user of sarcasm because I believe that people have come to expect it. A straight male using it is an asshole and a woman is a bitch. For some reason, gay men are expected to be pithy.

When I worked as a waiter, I heard many comments out of the mouths of other waiters to the customers and some of them were borderline rude. They never emerged from the mouths of the females, but they didn't have to. The girls flirted outrageously. And who could blame them? Their male counterparts were also excellent flirts, but many of the gay males were quick to combine flirting with witty humor that undercut their charm. The difference in tips was nil. It was amazing to hear someone slice down a customer only to receive a 20% tip. Why? I believe it's because sarcasm is expected in our society and especially from gay men. They're portrayed as such on TV and of course life mirrors art (or is it the other way around?).

Still, the sarcastic sting is best used in moderation, especially now. A relationship purely built on this kind of interchange becomes mired in that miasmic routine. It's important to have those fun, lighter moments. Fluffy as they are, without the care bear moments, that's a very hard relationship to build upon. And building is half the fun.

Take small breaks from the sarcasm. You'll be fully glad you did.

Omens and Portents and Subways! Oh my!

MERCURY IN RETROGRADE
Mercury, planet of the mind, entered retrograde today. It's sitting in Gemini, the sign which it rules, the sign of communication. It's going to be an interesting time for introspection and expression. There will be an overhaul in the way we think through things, which could be a refreshing change from quotidian mentalities. I just wouldn't enter any contracts for a few weeks if I were you.

With communication being reevaluated, it sparked a new line of thinking (thanks, retrograde!): how do we communicate with the world around us? More importantly, how does the universe communicate with us? There are many "signs" (both literal and figurative) that we experience on a daily basis. Advertisements are the most obvious signs that we see, being actual signs. Standing on the very crowded subway this morning, I couldn't look right in front of me (into the hair of a woman who would have slapped me for such contact in any other context). Nor could I look to either side of me where I was bracketed by two very large men in suits. There was really only one place to look: up. Whoever thought to put advertisements at the top of the subway car was brilliant. When you're stuck on a crowded subway, or even on an empty subway and bored, you tend to look for some kind of stimulation. For a small amount of time, you're entertained (or, in some cases, slightly nauseated) by the colorful pictures on display. On the subway this morning, I saw ads that helped me if I was bankrupt, pregnant, had a hammer toe, or even bad skin. I also so ads that recommended the best new book, alcohol, and English-learning language center. How convenient!

Were these mere signs or were they "signs?" When I was in college and agonizing over the decision of whether to transfer schools, a friend of mine suggested that I go on a "vision quest," a practice commonly traced back to Native American culture. She said that you walk around wherever your feet decide to go (obviously, not into traffic or anything) and look around and notice what's happening around you. That will give you your answer. So I did. I walked all over the campus and saw numerous things, but were these signs? The bird that took flight when I came near - was that a sign to leave? The leaves changing colors - was that a sign to change schools? While this was a valid suggestion, I think this was closer to a Rorschach test for me than actual signs of what to do. It brought out my deeper desire to leave and I began to look for validation in the world around me. While the vision quest may not have worked the way it was meant to, it certainly worked. I had my answer. If I was looking for a reason to leave, then obviously, that was the right thing to do. Turns out, it was.

I still have to wonder, are there signs that occur in our lives that might change the way that we live if we saw them? I've often heard that illness is a sign that you need to slow down. Or a missed connection means that you just weren't meant to get that job or meet that person. Everything happens for a reason, right? We've all heard that at one time or another. Should we have read the signs beforehand? Would that have given us a clue as to what was coming up? And if we did read the signs, could we have changed our destiny?

If I'm feeling down and I look up and see the words "Yes, you can!" on a subway car, was I meant to see them and feel better about myself, even though the ad is about losing weight? How much of this applies? Do we see signs because we want to see them? Is there harm in seeing signs? I don't think so, but I certainly don't think you should always wait for a sign before you take action. That's a "speak when you're spoken to" rule and as Alice (that crazy girl from Wonderland) pointed out, if everyone followed that rule, nobody would ever speak at all!

One of the major areas that I think signs might be a possibility is the iPod. Strange as it sounds, that "shuffle" option can be awfully oracular, can't it? You're thinking of a song and it starts to play. Or the song that reminds you of your friend starts to play and two minutes later, they call you. Does the iPod know? Is music a conductor of universal communication? I mean, it's a universal language. Maybe that phrase has more meaning than we think. I wonder what a vision quest would be like with an iPod shuffle soundtrack. Would that change our perception of signs?

Everything is symbolic. That's part of what gives our dreams such meaning. And dreams are personal, so the symbols mean different things. My dream of a snake may be a sign of danger, but your dream may be a sign of wisdom, and another's dream may be phallic and sexual. It all depends on the context and the person. So that "Yes, you can!" ad that gives me so much hope may be pushing another person towards suicide. Extreme example, of course, but you get the point. A symbol is a sign only if you see it as such.

It might be time to discover our modern-day oracles. It's not such a crazy thought. After all, people still read their horoscopes and astrology is an ancient art/science dating back to before 2000 B.C.E. People are still interested in getting their Tarot cards read (said to go back to at least the 14th Century). There are so many ways that people read life around them: numerology, rune-casting, I-Ching, graphology (handwriting analysis), etc. It's not really so far-fetched to think that subway ads and iPods are the wave of the future. It is the Age of Aquarius (technology), after all.

Plus, it beats the hell out of studying sheep entrails.

Tact: A Lost Art

MOON IN CANCER
Wait, didn't we already deja this vu? Yes, we did, but consider today a continuation of yesterday's post and taking into account that the Moon remains in the sensitive sign of Cancer, it's fitting. In addition to making everyone a little more emotional, we're all going to be a little sensitive and quite possibly, a little more critical than we might normally be. At least, on the inside. What happens when that comes out?

I started to think about the ways that we express ourselves, especially when we're offering criticism. Of course, it didn't hurt that I had my classroom management class yesterday, which is all about how to relate to students so they don't, you know, pull a gun on you for asking them to sit down. Terrifying to think that's even a worry in today's schools. I digress. The point is that there are many ways to offer information to someone else. And most people aren't stupid. They know when you're lying. They know when you're blowing smoke up their ass. Still, some are more than willing to listen to the flattery. After all, flattery will get you everywhere. What about the other side of the coin? Where does criticism get you?

For the most part, we are encouraged to speak our minds. First Amendment and all, right? Well, sure! I mean, I'm blogging here - obviously, I'm not going to argue against Freedom of Speech and Press. And most blogs tend to be somewhat controversial. That's why we read them. They're opinions, stated for everyone to read and agree or disagree with. Online, and especially in real life, it seems as though Freedom of Speech means a disregard for another person's feelings. If that person is a Cancer or a Scorpio, look out!

How you say something is just as important, if not more so, than what you say. We developed language so that we could communicate and we use it more often than not to hurt or belittle or flatter for our own gain. In such a narcissistic society, how can we be expected to look further than our own interests? Okay, okay, not everyone is out for themselves, but it's certainly encouraged through the actions we see around us every day - people shoving to get in the subway, butting in line, talking loudly on the phone; even the iPod is designed to block out the world and focus on you, you, you. Not that some selfishness isn't good, but it might not be the most effective way of communicating with others.

Story time!
I had a fairly recent event occur at my former job. Like any good artist in NYC, I was waiting tables. Now, the ketchup lids at my station had not yet been cleaned (I was finishing up) and my manager saw this, flipped out, and called the entire staff over. This was the first time that I had ever been told, warned, spoken to about the ketchup lids. Granted, he had a point - they were dirty. Okay. Valid. Totally on board with that. I was then reamed out in front of the staff as an example and written up by this manager. I was totally flabbergasted. Having now been screamed at (never one of my favorite activities), embarrassed in front of my coworkers (I'd rather see a middle school production of Mamet), and written up (with no warning) over ketchup lids, I was needlessly frustrated and angry. From then on, any time this manager was on the floor, I became hyper-sensitive, uptight, and anxious, which made me prone to more mistakes. Effective? I think not.

How I wish I could bring that manager, and some other folks I know, to the classroom management class! Perhaps it's an older generation thing, but ruling by fear is not going to yield the best results. You'll get obedience, but it'll be grudging and resentful. Had my manager simply taken me aside and said, "Look, I noticed that the ketchup lids in your section are dirty. We can't have that. Please take care of it immediately. This is your warning," I would have jumped to fix the situation and I would have been on the alert in the future, but I would not have been nervous about it. I don't need to be coddled. I don't need to be babied. I do need to be informed. A employer-employee relationship is just that: a relationship. Communication is essential in any relationship. After all, you're not going to react too fondly if your romantic partner suddenly starts screaming at you and threatens to break up with you because you left a glass on the coffee table. For something that could have been so easily fixed, he blew it completely out of proportion. The staff meeting would have also been fine if he had made it a blanket statement for everyone. "Ketchup lids are getting dirty. That's unacceptable." Cool. Message received.

Fear is not the most effective motivator. Encouragement is. I mean, real encouragement for adults. We're not children, but even the toughest adult can have a fragile self-esteem. Speaking with respect is going to gain you so much more loyalty than dangling my job in front of me. I could go with a fly/honey/vinegar cliche here, but seriously, who wants flies? Tact is not a hindrance and it shouldn't be viewed as such. We can speak to each other with respect and still disagree and get our point across. I love sarcasm as much as the next Jeanine Garrofolo, but it depends on the situation and must be used in moderation. The advent of the net has added to our lack of tact. We're not actually talking to a person; we're typing to a screen. Why bother with netiquette? Yet, it's even more dangerous because there are no social cues in written form. Thank goodness for emoticons! :)

Not trying to Emily Post here, but in today's world, it seems that we have become far less concerned with the effect we have on others and the sensitive-yet-critical Cancer in all of us has the power to snap back. I urge you to take a look at how you speak to others. We're all guilty; myself included. If you feel your tact is not intact, try a different tack.

Remember: Cancers are soft underneath their shells and they have claws, so be careful how you say what you say!