Friday, May 29, 2009

Fruity Foppery

VENUS IN ARIES
The sensual planet sits in the fiery sign of Aries. A powerful development of earthy and airy delights permeates our world as the loving planet drifts through the youngest sign of the zodiac.

Disclaimer: silliness ahead.

The apple is a pretty misunderstood fruit. Poor thing. It was there at the Garden of Eden and boy, did it get a horrid reputation for that little debacle! The snake didn't know how it forever damned the poor apple to evil association. Then again, the snake's kind of a big worm and they do have quite the affinity for apples.

And then there's Snow White. Wow. Talk about a messed up apple situation. Once again, though, not the apple's fault. After all, the witch had poison. You can't really mess with poison when you're a poor little piece of fruit.

Dorothy didn't have it much better. She got pelted by apples by anthropomorphic apple trees! You're not gonna develop a warm, fuzzy feeling for the fruit when you've been bruised by the fruit's home plant come to life.

And of course, doctors hate it cuz they can't go near anyone who has had an apple that day. Who came up with that saying? You know the apple didn't. It's never gonna get an decent HMO with that kind of statement floating around!

Newtown wasn't thrilled with the apple either. Oh, sure, it may have helped him discover gravity, but a clunk to the head might not have been the best way to do it and you know there was hidden resentment over that.

Still, I say, stand proud, little apple. After all, you've been around for quite awhile, you come in three colors, and hey, you're pretty versatile: apple juice, applesauce, apple pie, apple strudel, candied, etc.

...is anyone else hungry?

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